Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
