it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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