is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
