Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

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(817): View more from Texas

what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?

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(352): View more from Florida

I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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(559): View more from California

he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

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(925): View more from California

First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this

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(305): View more from Florida

He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

God I need to hump something, right now.

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