It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
