If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
smell my finger.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
