I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Can i not drive my cunt home
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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