You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
