that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
