I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You're like the curious george of whores
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
