Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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