Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i came on her dog
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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