The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We have started to decorate penises.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
