Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
