The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
