plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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