nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
