): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
