Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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