I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
