Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
