That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
