Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
