I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
