the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
