please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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