She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
