I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
