IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
