Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
