dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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