i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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