Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
