I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
