I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
