I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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