I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize