No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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