Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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