Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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