even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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