If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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