is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
