It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
