Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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