No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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