3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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