I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
