Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
