She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
