i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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