you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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